“There is more than enough room in my Father’s home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?”
Growing up I never had a place to call “home”. My parents divorced when I was three – leaving me to hop from one house to the other week in and week out. After my mom passed away, I went to live with my dad and stepmom. In that time from age 9-15, we moved three times. At 15, I left my home for good – I was tired of the abuse. I couch hopped between friends, family, and even my car. Fast forward to college, I lived in 6 different places in 6 years. I assumed things would get better when I was married. We bought a house and that excited me, a place to finally call “home”…it wasn’t long before I realized that even though we had a house, it wasn’t a home. In fact, in the first 6 years we owned it we probably slept there a total of 10 months. The hardest part of growing up was not having a place to go back to – that felt like home.
When friends in college talked about “going home” I would daydream of how I wish I had that. When I got married and moved from country-to-country and people talked about “going home”, I would get bitter at their sentiments. Then I had children – and I would hear that our friends were “going home” to spend time with grandparents – and I felt deep sorrow, knowing my children would never have that with my parents.
I am finally coming to grips that there is no “home” that will welcome me back – on this side of the veil; but instead, I have been given an opportunity to create a home for my children to return to when the spread their own wings. There are times it makes me feel bitter, there are times I feel completely unloved by my parents, there are times I feel jealous of the incredible relationships that others have with their parents. But, it is in those moments, that the Lord gently reminds me, that this is not my home – I am just passing through.
When I hear songs about “My Father’s House” and when I read about how the Lord goes to, “prepare a place for me” (John 14:2), I weep. I weep because I know it’s true, I weep because there is a Father who looks forward to my return, my Daddy is eagerly awaiting my arrival, he is planning and preparing the sweetest of things that my mind cannot even imagine – and He is doing it for me and for you.
Though I don’t have a childhood home to return to, the Lord has now blessed me with a home to call my own – a home to welcome my children home to, and a home to welcome others into. Ladies, maybe some of you have a story like mine, maybe you too have struggled to “belong”. If so, I just want to remind you, that your daddy is preparing a beautiful place for you. You are loved and treasured in a mighty way, and though your earthly parents may not have loved you in the way you think they should have, you have a heavenly father who will surpass all that you imagined love could be.